


Rebuild

by l10nelmessi



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:45:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1958913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l10nelmessi/pseuds/l10nelmessi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the World Cup final. The boys need some comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebuild

**Author's Note:**

> A quick thing I wrote to maybe try and make me feel a little better bc right now every fibre of my being hurts. Argentina te quiero. Big giant albicelste hugs to everyone who reads this.

Kun doesn't know how he's keeping it together.

He doesn't know how he's not sobbing his eyes out. He doesn't know how he's still standing on his feet. He doesn't know how he does it.

But he does know why.

He's doing it for Leo.

"Come on," he says to him, once they make it back to their hotel room. Leo drops his duffle bag on the floor - the clank of metal on metal rings out. His trophy and his medal. He'd almost left it in his locker before Pablo put it in his bag for him. "Get into the shower, go," Kun says. Leo just sits on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing, eyes swollen from wanting to cry but holding the tears back. Kun wishes he wouldn't do this to himself."Come on, Leo," he tries again, but Leo makes no motion to stand so Kun sighs frustratedly.

He undresses Leo and it's so different from every other time that Kun doesn't even want to do it. Leo's shirt still sticks to him, damp with sweat, and Kun peels that off of him first before working his way down. He gets Leo a towel. "Meet me in the bathroom, go." Leo does.

Kun undresses himself, then, hears the shower on and he thinks, _it's a start._

He gets in the shower with Leo and he's immediately shocked - the water is freezing and Leo is standing right under the spray, face turned up to meet it. Kun shakes his head, turns the water to a warmer temperature. "Come here," he says gently, pulling Leo over to him. Leo is looking at him but he's not really there and Kun sighs again.

He washes Leo more carefully than he's ever done anything. His hair first, massaging the shampoo in and Leo closes his eyes like he's enjoying it, so Kun does it for longer than is probably necessary. Then he moves to his body, his shoulders and his chest and everywhere else, and at one point Leo reaches out and touches Kun's cheek with the tips of his fingers. Kun kisses his forehead.

Kun leaves the bathroom first to get dressed while Leo dries himself off, and before he even has his shirt on he hears a crash. He runs into the bathroom, just in his boxers, and sees Leo on the ground with blood on his left hand.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He asks, knowing full well that Leo won't answer him. Leo doesn't even make eye contact so Kun assumes he tripped and cut his hand on the sharp edge of the sink. He gets a plaster and some chemical to clean it with from his suitcase. "Come here, you moron, come here. Let me see." Leo shifts closer to him on the floor and he doesn't even wince when Kun cleans the cut. Kun puts the plaster over it and squeezes Leo's hand a little. "Get dressed and come to bed," he tells him. Leo nods.

When he finally crawls into bed with Kun, Leo is cold. Kun is used to this, because Leo is always cold at night, but today he is especially cold and Kun worries about him.

"Hey," he says gently. "Hey, asshole, are you gonna talk to me?" Nothing. Kun moves a little closer. "Please?" Still nothing. Kun runs his hands over his eyes. He's sort of reached his limit by now. "Great," he mutters, half to himself and half to Leo. "I've lost both the World Cup and you, all in one night. Great."

"Shut up, Kun."

"There we go."

"I said, shut _up,"_ Leo says, and he sounds - well, like Kun feels. Horrible and broken and ruined. "Shut the fuck up. Everyone deals with this shit in different ways, let me - just - fuck, Kun. I'm sorry." He sighs and Kun automatically panics. Kun knows him so well, knows that sigh, and it means that Leo's about to cry and Kun can't see that, because it'll push him over the edge, too. And he doesn't want Leo to see that.

"It's okay," Kun says. "Really, I, uh. Should've let you be quiet. It's fine."

"No," Leo says, and he sits up in the dark, palms pressed to his eyes. "Fuck, it's not - not okay - this is all my fault, I should have helped, and I couldn't, I fucked up so badly, I ruined everything..." And then, inevitably, he shakes with sobs and Kun sits up too, puts his arms around Leo and pulls his head onto his shoulder.

"Oh, Leo, it's not like that...we played really well, they were just lucky...if we had to play again, we'd do it the same, you know that." Leo keeps crying and Kun says, "you're still the best," very quietly.

"I'm not," Leo says between his tears. "I'm not even close. I want to burn that fucking trophy, I hate it. If I was the best I would have fucking done something today. God, I - Kun -"

"Shh, don't say that," he soothes. He strokes Leo's hair and lets him cry, and then Leo speaks again, so softly he almost doesn't hear it.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. They won't understand it but I'm so sorry, for everything."

And then Kun is crying, too, crying because this was a dream of his practically since he was born and they were so close, so close to gold, to touching the World Cup, to being champions. And the fans really won't understand how sorry they are and they never will, never. So Kun cries, and he holds Leo while he cries. And then Leo presses his forehead to Kun's, tears running down both of their faces, and he says it again - _I'm so sorry_ \- and Kun kisses him, quickly and with trembling lips, to let him know that it's okay.

"We need to sleep," Kun says thickly, sniffling. "We have to fly tomorrow. We need to sleep."

"Okay. Stay close to me."

"I will. I'll be close."

"On the plane, too?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Don't - don't go away, Kun."

"I would never, ever leave you."

Leo sleeps in Kun's arms, and Kun runs his hands over Leo's shoulders as he lays in that hazy state between sleep and wakefulness, and he pretends that he's brushing all the weight and the stress off of them.

 

+

 

He wakes up three times to Leo crying. Each time, try as he might to stop it, he cries, too.

 

+

 

"Kun, c'mon. Get up."

"Hmmm?"

"Get up, we have to get dressed."

"Hmmm."

"Move, come on." Leo pushes his arm, but not very hard. Kun has the biggest headache he can ever remember having.

"Can you get me Advil?" He asks, eyes still closed, and he can feel Leo press his lips briefly to Kun's temple before his weight shifts off of the bed. He comes back after a while and Kun sits up, opens his eyes and takes the pills and water from him. Leo watches him, and when Kun puts the cup down on the bedside table Leo reaches over and kisses his forehead.

"You okay?"

"No. You?"

"Fine."

"Leo. It's just me."

Leo looks at him like he doesn't even know where he is, like he's lost. "Right. Yeah, no, I'm not okay."

"It's alright. We'll get better."

He swings his legs off the bed and slowly, slowly goes to where their travelling suits are, on the chair beside the desk in the room. Kun takes his, and he puts Leo's on the bed, and he starts to get changed.

"You know," he says, his voice muffled by the shirt he's pulling off. "You should probably get dressed, too. I know you're enjoying the show, but." He smiles at his own joke, weak though it was, and throws his shirt at Leo. The corner of Leo's mouth twitches up for a second, then he gets off the bed and walks over to Kun, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

"I love you, you know that?" Leo says quietly into his ear, and Kun - he knows, but it's so important to hear it from Leo and it helps. A lot. He nods. "You're my best friend. You mean a lot to me. And...thanks. For last night. For everything."

"Leo," he begins, but he doesn't know what to say because there's too much. Leo kisses the side of his head, just above his ear.

"I know. It's okay." Kun lets go of him, steps back to look at him. He leans in and presses his lips to Leo's.

"Get changed," he says quietly. "Come on. We have to go home soon." Leo nods, and they get changed in silence.

When they're done, Leo fixes Kun's tie for him, runs his fingers through his hair to get it into that style that Leo likes so much on Kun. "Ready?"

Kun takes a long breath, takes Leo's hand. He's not so cold anymore.

"Ready."

And maybe that's how they start to rebuild.


End file.
